you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
