In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
