The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
