I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
