I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
