my soul wont recognize me after tonight
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
third nipple confirmed
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
