Sponge bath it is.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Randomize
