i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
