Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
