Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
