girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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