If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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