Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
