He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
