I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Everything about him screamed your future.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize