So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
