so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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