I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
