So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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