I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize