This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
