u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
