Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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