tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize