don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
