Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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