omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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