I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
