she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
