I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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