I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Randomize
