found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
