we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
