how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
