Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
