when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize