I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
