So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
