i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize