I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
