so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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