Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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