Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize