sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
