Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize