While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
