I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
BRING THE BAGELS
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
