if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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