and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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