We're like a lot better than the average bears
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
