I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I have feelings that need drinking.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
