it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
