Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
