i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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