hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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