He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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