it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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