if only i could text you this smell
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
