so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
