I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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