I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
